The Stuttering Killer and the Bull-Headed Friend

Sitting in an open-air tea house, Xiao Chen savored the ordinary and sought stillness within the mundane. He watched the endless flow of people on the street, listened to the hawkers' cries, and felt a sudden, vivid truth to it all.

How many in this world chased after distinction, refusing to accept mediocrity—only to find themselves weary in body and spirit, with nothing to show for it? Perhaps the natural, the ordinary was the genuine path. Sipping his faintly fragrant tea, Xiao Chen felt that the lives of common folk, bustling and simple, were truly fulfilling.

A man of average build, his face passably handsome but his demeanor steeped in extreme sleaziness, sauntered over in silks and satins. His eyes, like hooks, darted intermittently at the beauties passing by. He plopped down beside Xiao Chen and stammered, “B-b-brother… taking it… it easy, huh?”

Xiao Chen smiled. “And you are?”

“I-I-I’m known as the B-B-Butcher, n-no, the Tiger-Butcher… a p-pro…”

Xiao Chen's interest stirred. He said nothing, merely watching with a smile.

The sleazy man, still ogling every young woman on the street, poured himself a large cup of tea without permission and drained it in one gulp.

“G-g-good tea… Th-this is absolutely top-tier R-R-Red… Red… Red Beauty tea. It’s s-s-said that young maidens p-p-pick it at dawn, facing the morning glow, a t-t-tender…”

“A tender bud!” thundered a burly man nearby. “I’ll say it for you—you’re driving me crazy!”

The stammering sleazebag nodded. “R-r-right… right… that’s the e-e-expression!”

“W-w-wretched luck!” the burly man sputtered, now stammering himself. He flung his sleeves and stood. “If I listen to you any longer, I’ll either suffocate or die of impatience!” He stormed off.

“Th-this man… has n-n-no c-class! His t-t-temperament is t-t-too poor!” The self-proclaimed Tiger-Butcher sneered after the departing man, but the effect was comical given his lecherous appearance.

“D-don’t you think?” He turned to ask the other patrons.

But everyone else had drained their tea and was leaving. Listening to him talk was pure torture—a breath stuck in the chest that never came out.

“Wh-wh-why… is everyone l-l-leaving?” The sleazy man stood up, as if to stop them.

“Y-y-you’re suffocating us!” the last official-looking man huffed, flicking his sleeves as he departed.

“S-s-so… t-tackless!” The sleazy man pounded the table indignantly. “N-n-no refinement, n-n-no cultivation, n-n-no morals!”

Gulp, gulp, gulp.

He grabbed the whole teapot and poured it into his mouth like a whale drinking, not tasting but drowning. Wiping the spilled tea from his chin, he turned to Xiao Chen. “D-don’t you agree, b-b-brother?”

Xiao Chen was genuinely amused. He didn’t rush. Finally, when the man seemed unable to spit out another word, Xiao Chen laughed. “Don’t call me ‘brother’—I might not be older than you.”

“Heh! Heh! Heh!” The stammerer panted heavily. “B-b-brother…”

“Stop.”

“I-I-I wasn’t c-calling! I-I-I was s-s-saying… b-b-brother… brother!” He slapped the table. “B-buddy!”

“Did you need something from me?” Xiao Chen ordered another pot, pouring for the stammerer and himself.

“I-I-I already s-s-said… I-I’m the T-Tiger-Butcher… a p-pro!” Having said that, the sleazy man fell silent, as if waiting for Xiao Chen to ask. His peach-blossom eyes roamed the street, ogling every passing woman.

Xiao Chen found the man interesting. He had nothing better to do, so he sipped his tea at leisure, watching the crowds.

They sat in silence for an hour, downing three pots of tea, without a single word.

At an hour and a half, the stammerer could take it no longer. “Y-y-you’re… t-t-too boring! H-half a day and n-n-not a word! S-s-so dull!”

“Wasn’t I waiting for you to speak?”

“N-n-normally, I-I-I drive other p-p-people crazy! T-t-today, y-y-you’re about to d-d-drive me crazy!”

Xiao Chen had never expected that this sleazy stammerer was a member of the continent’s number one assassin organization, “Bounty Three Billion.”

“You’re an assassin, daring to show your face in broad daylight? Aren’t you afraid your career will end?”

“Th-th-that’s for o-ordinary assassins! W-w-who am I? I’m the f-f-future Paragon of Assassins!” The stammerer was incredibly self-assured. “I-I’m a s-s-sunlight assassin! I can l-l-live an ordinary life! I-I’m one of a k-k-kind!”

A unique assassin named Jin Sanyi, proud to take his name from the organization “Bounty Three Billion,” stammering, unreadable in strength, but sleazy beyond compare—and utterly devoid of killing intent.

Suddenly, Xiao Chen remembered. Two years ago, hadn’t an assassin named Jin Sanyi killed the seventh son of the Tiger family patriarch in the Southern Wastes—Hai Yunxue’s newlywed second husband?

“It was you,” Xiao Chen said, smiling.

The Bounty Three Billion organization had existed for untold ages, its enmity with the Central Plains Tiger Clan deep and long. Legend had it that the first Paragon of Assassins once tried to kill the old ancestor of the Tiger Clan, the White Tiger Saint Emperor himself, nearly succeeding. The feud had persisted ever since.

Jin Sanyi stared straight at a scantily clad woman swaying past, his soul nearly snared. Still, he muttered absently, “B-b-brother… r-r-remember who I am? The f-f-future Paragon of Assassins!”

Xiao Chen wanted to laugh but couldn’t. This sleazy man wanted to be the Paragon of Assassins… but then again, who could say? Nothing was absolute. Jin Sanyi seemed truly extraordinary.

“Alright. Fetch paper and brush quickly. At this rate, you won’t finish a sentence in two hours.”

With practiced ease, Jin Sanyi pulled a stone slab from his pack.

“Let’s join hands and kill that big tiger,” he carved on the slab in rapid strokes.

He was clearly used to communicating this way, moving with effortless familiarity.

“You should have brought this out long ago,” Xiao Chen muttered, then smiled. “You think the two of us can handle a demigod?”

A sweep of the hand, and the carved words turned to dust. Another line appeared: “The two of us should be enough. Add that Sword Demon Dugu, and three can surely cut off his head. What’s a demigod? Once we unleash our skills, he’s just a sick cat.”

“This needs careful thought. But…” Xiao Chen paused, looking at the sleazy man. “How do I know you’re really Jin Sanyi?”

In an instant, a deathly aura erupted. The icy killing intent knocked the tea-seller unconscious.

“Enough.”

No further test was needed. This was the unique killing aura of an assassin.

“S-s-so we’re agreed, b-b-buddy! W-w-we’ll hunt the tiger t-t-together!”

“Good, it’s settled.”

Just then, a commotion broke out down the street. Many people ran toward it, while women and children hurried back in panic. Xiao Chen called a boy over, gave him two gold coins, and asked, “Little brother, what’s happening?”

“The B-Bull Demon King has come! Grandmother says it’s Ox-Head from the Ox-Head and Horse-Face demons, coming to drag away souls!”

“N-n-nonsense! How c-c-could there be an Ox-Head in broad daylight?” Jin Sanyi’s peach-blossom eyes widened.

“It’s true! That Bull Demon King is really strong. He’s beaten many cultivators, and he even wants to capture the soul of someone named Xiao Shishui!”

Xiao Chen let the boy go and said to Jin Sanyi, “Let’s go have a look.”

At a busy crossroads, a chubby, honest-looking little fat man stood with two enormous ox horns sprouting from his head. He looked like a benevolent version of the Bull Demon King reborn. Beside him was a large banner inscribed with bold characters: CHALLENGING XIAO SHISHUI.

“This guy…” Xiao Chen hadn’t expected Niu Ren to come to Yindu, using this method to find him. The battles from a few days ago must have revealed him—the Spirit-Sword Wave, the Perfect Bottle Seal, and other divine arts couldn’t be hidden from the little fatty. He must have guessed that Xiao Shishui was Xiao Chen.

“What, an old enemy?” Jin Sanyi chuckled. “I-I-I’ll take c-c-care of him for you.”

“No need.”

But it was already too late. The sleazy Jin Sanyi vanished in an instant with a speed that startled even Xiao Chen.

Ahead, beneath the banner, Niu Ren seemed to sense something. He launched into the air, and a massive demonic bull manifested behind him—a black ox the size of a small mountain, exuding an indescribable magical dread.

A bull roar split the air. The enormous ox charged down, cracking the street below.

Boom!

Jin Sanyi’s form reappeared as he retreated. The massive ox struck once and withdrew behind Niu Ren.

“Heavens, it really is the Bull Demon King!”

“A ghost! The Ox-Head from the underworld has come out by day!”

Women and children wailed and fled, while the bold and cultivators watched from a cautious distance.

Jin Sanyi retreated silently to Xiao Chen’s side. “Th-this o-ox-head is… v-v-very unusual.”

“You’re the ox-head! Your whole family are ox-heads!” Niu Ren landed, the giant bull vanishing into his body. He shattered the banner with a palm strike and strode over. Seeing Xiao Chen, the little fatty grinned, but when he saw Jin Sanyi, his chubby face immediately hardened.

“He’s one of us. Let’s talk somewhere else.” Xiao Chen grabbed both men and pushed through the crowd, leaving the scene.

When they were far away, Xiao Chen said, “Didn’t expect you out so soon. Where’s the black dragon?”

“In the deep mountains outside Yindu. I had to come out early.” The little fatty looked dejected. “My horns… they’re growing faster and faster. Now…” He looked mournful. “I can’t even chop them off with a blade! Those old folks say it’s a good thing and won’t get rid of them. I came out to see if I can find a way to make them smaller.”

Niu Ren looked like he was about to cry.

“Really… can’t cut them off?” The sleazy stammerer spoke unusually smoothly, eyes gleaming. He reached a hand toward the horns and grinned. “Excellent material for a dark assassin’s blade.”

“Get lost, you sleazy stutterer.” Niu Ren shoved him away, dejectedly patting his two-foot-long black ox horns.

“Let nature take its course,” Xiao Chen consoled.

The little fatty was naturally optimistic and soon forgot about the horns. Excitedly, he said to Xiao Chen, “Brother Shishui, do you know why I came to Yindu? We have an old acquaintance here. Remember Liu Ruyan? She’s at the Sinking Fish and Falling Goose Palace. They say she’s close friends with the Flower Emperor there.”

Niu Ren couldn’t reveal Xiao Chen’s identity in front of Jin Sanyi, but he could pass the message without trouble.

“S-s-sinking… F-Fish and F-Falling Goo… Goose Palace?” At these words, Jin Sanyi’s peach-blossom eyes shot twin beams of radiant light.

“S-s-sink your head! Can’t even speak properly—that’s a place for men, not for a lecher like you!”

“O-o-ox-head! D-d-don’t be cocky! W-w-want to t-t-test it?”

“With that sleazy face of yours that no uncle loves and no aunt likes? You want to test it? They’d chase you out with a broom. That place isn’t for just any rich man.”

“I d-d-despise you! I-I-I…” Jin Sanyi, nearly suffocating himself, yanked out his stone slab and carved furiously. “Let’s not fight—let’s go to the Sinking Fish and Falling Goose Palace and see who’s the real man. I, the Great Lord Sanyi, am after all a thirteen-timer-a-night sort…”

“Pah, you pervert! More like thirteen seconds!” Little Fatty Niu Ren, despite his honest look, had a razor tongue.

Xiao Chen laughed heartily, letting them bicker. “Let’s go—to the Sinking Fish and Falling Goose Palace.”

The Sinking Fish and Falling Goose Palace was as grand as a royal court. It sprawled across a vast area, appearing from afar like a stretch of celestial palaces—a testament to its connections with the highest powers. Who else could build such a palace complex in Yindu?

Those who entered were wealthy or noble. Step into any VIP hall, and one might encounter a key figure of Yindu.

Ascending the white marble steps into the central, magnificent hall, one saw unimaginable luxury: carved beams, painted rafters, gold and splendor. Dusk was falling. Crystal lamps cast dreamlike radiance, making the jade buildings and towers even more fantastical.

Before a tall screen stood a pair of jade vases, two meters high, glowing green and translucent—obviously priceless treasures.

On one wall hung a poem personally inscribed by the peerless Sword Immortal Li Bai—no forgery. The characters were strong and vigorous, strokes like hooks and silver. His poetry was unmatched, his swordplay even more so—poetry containing sword intent, sword intent containing the essence of poetry.

A flower-phase attendant, veiled, swayed gracefully over, followed by eight young women of different races.

Western women with snow-white, smooth skin, tall and slender, their golden hair like a beam of eternal sunlight. Eastern women with hair black as waterfalls, bright eyes and white teeth, delicate necks, enchanting and graceful. A fox-woman of the Barbarian clan, seductive and captivating; a single glance from her charming eyes sent Jin Sanyi’s peach-blossom eyes straight. Her fluffy fox tail curled lightly…

The eight maidens, each of a different race, were alluring. They flashed smiles that could kill without remorse.

“Heehee… honored guests, this way, please,” the flower-phase attendant laughed, leading the eight maidens to welcome them.

Niu Ren muttered, “Still wearing a veil? Can’t we see?”

Jin Sanyi pulled out his slab and carved swiftly: “Idiot, don’t you get it? A rookie! It’s the half-veiled look, wanting to speak yet holding back—that’s the charm…”

“When Brother Niu was out in the world, you sleazy guy was probably still peeping on women bathing. Save your breath, no need for your introduction.” The little fatty thought for a moment. “I heard Dugu Jianmo is also in Yindu. It would be hilarious to drag that icy fellow here.”

Hearing this, Xiao Chen smiled. “I actually have something to discuss with him. Your idea is good.” He turned to the flower-phase attendant. “Can you help with that?”

“Of course. Our honored guests are like ancestral gods to us,” the attendant replied with a coquettish smile.

Seeing Xiao Chen really intended to invite Dugu Jianmo, Niu Ren imagined the cold, unfeeling man in such a place and snickered. Then he remembered something. “I heard that little Yan girl is also in Yindu. She’s a peerless beauty. Brother Shishui might as well invite her here too.”

The flower-phase attendant covered her mouth, laughing. The eight seductive maidens behind her joined in, finding the little fatty utterly absurd—bringing women to a place like this.

Just then, Niu Ren noticed the sleazy Jin Sanyi smirking at him coldly. At the same time, felt sharp gazes stabbing at him from the street behind.

Turning, who else but Yan Qingcheng, Abing, and Third Princess Ying? They happened to be passing by. Because the Sinking Fish and Falling Goose Palace was so famous, the third princess had been explaining it as they walked.

When Yan Qingcheng saw the little fatty’s face, she covered her mouth in surprise. Her indignation momentarily subsided. She murmured, “Ox-head… when did he turn into an ox-head?” She remembered the annoying little fatty well from Dragon Island—he was no pushover.

“Little Yan girl… ah no, Sister Yan, pleasant to meet you after all these years! Your elegance shines brighter than ever—truly peerless, enchanting, a celestial visiting the mortal realm, a moon goddess descended to dust, pitiable and lovely, eclipsing the sun and moon…” Niu Ren rattled off his praises.

Swoosh! A golden hairpin flew, cutting his words short. Yan Qingcheng’s face flushed crimson as she glared at the group.

“Y-Y-Y-Yan… you’re so beautiful!” The sleazy Jin Sanyi couldn’t bear to be left out. He meant to say “Miss Yan,” but the word “Miss” refused to come out, so he skipped it. The rest came smoothly enough.

But the meaning changed entirely. Instead of calling her Miss Yan, it sounded like an intimate nickname “Yan Yan.” Furious, Yan Qingcheng wished she could grab the sleaze and thrash him.

She ground her teeth on the street. Being harassed by three men visiting a brothel was infuriating.

“Ah…” She wanted to call Abing, but the sleaze stammered again, “B-B-Bing… Bing Bing… you’re beautiful too!”

Again it sounded like a close nickname “Bing Bing.” Abing’s face changed color.

“P-P-Princess… Prin…” Jin Sanyi turned red in the face, but the word “cess” refused to leave his throat. Pointing at the third princess, he ground his teeth. “Prin… you too!”

The third princess was furious at first, then caught on and could only laugh helplessly. Everyone passing by burst into laughter. Inside the hall, the flower-phase attendant and the eight maidens were already laughing so hard tears streamed down.

Xiao Chen laughed inside and thought: What a talent.

Niu Ren wobbled his ox head and crouched on the ground, pounding it in laughter.