The Beginner's Guide to Self-Deception

"Kid, don't just bury your head in books. If you studied the Scripture of Deception that way, you'd never learn a thing. Let me teach you something—in our Zuowangdao, we don't deceive people."

Li Huowang sat in the teahouse, sipping his tea and listening to the man called Six-Ten spout this utterly outrageous claim.

"Deception is always the lowest form. If you want to trick someone, you have to make them trick themselves." A weasel-faced man with a thin, drooping mustache continued explaining to the young man before him.

"As long as you can make them trick themselves, even the most absurd lie will feel true to them."

Just then, an unusually haggard old woman passed by the teahouse entrance, carrying a vegetable basket on her arm.

"See that woman, Liu? Her husband was conscripted into the army over ten years ago and never came back. Anyone with half a brain knows he's not coming home. But she refuses to believe it. She's convinced her husband will return."

"That's self-deception. You don't even need to know what her husband looks like. People like this, who can't move on, are the easiest to fool. Watch this."

Six-Ten wiped a hand across his face. In an instant, he transformed into a gaunt, white-haired beggar in tattered clothes, standing right before Li Huowang.

Clang. Six-Ten tapped a broken edge of the bowl in his hand, then hobbled unsteadily toward the old woman.

Li Huowang was too far away to hear the words. He only saw Six-Ten say something tentative to the old woman. Her grip loosened. The vegetable basket fell to the ground. She lunged forward, sobbing, and threw herself at him overjoyed.

Reunited after a long separation, the two wept together, leaning on each other as they walked home.

Before long, Six-Ten returned. He hadn't changed back—he was still in the guise of that old beggar.

"See? Simple as that."

"You didn't really deceive her into anything, though." Li Huowang popped a few raw peanuts into his mouth.

"Who says I didn't? If I wanted to, she'd feed me and shelter me for the rest of her life. And even after she died, her son wouldn't dare let the neighbors call him unfilial—he'd have to keep supporting me until my death."

"This trick is called The Cuckoo's Nest. When old, childless con artists get tired of the game, they use this method to secure a comfortable old age."

Li Huowang lifted his cup and took a sip. "Wouldn't you be worried she'd notice something was wrong, living with her day in and day out? He's supposed to be her husband."

"Ah—that's the beauty of this trick. Think about it. Even if the old woman suspects something, so what? Does she dare expose it?"

"Under the bonds of the Three Bonds and Five Constants, would she dare tell anyone that the husband she waited over a decade for, the man who has shared her bed for months, is actually a fraud?"

"Not only did she fail to wait for her real husband—she's been defiled by a stranger, and brought great shame to her husband's family. If that got out, the neighbors would tear her apart with gossip. How could she go on living?"

"Compared to that hopeless outcome, isn't it much easier to just trick herself into believing she's overthinking things?"

"Heh. Senior, you're a real piece of work."

"A piece of work? People and livestock are all made of flesh. People are just animals. All that 'benevolence, righteousness, ritual, and music' is bullshit. It's precisely because so many people believe in all that bullshit that we in Zuowangdao have such an easy time playing them."

Six-Ten put down his tea and continued. "When we Zuowangdao play our games, we aim big. The bigger the game, the greater the change we cause in others, and the more Non-Gang we get from the Celestial Venerable."

"Non-Gang?" Li Huowang asked, looking confused.

"Call it whatever you want. It's just a thing. I call it Non-Gang. With it, we can use Zuowangdao's divine abilities and techniques."

"Simple stuff—disguises, illusions. The complicated ones are powerful: secret agents, living puppets. And the more you deceive, the more hooked you get. The more interesting it becomes! Your skills naturally rise!"

"So that's how it is. Many thanks for the guidance, Senior." Hearing this, Li Huowang revealed a glimmer of desire for these divine powers.

"But remember—we Zuowangdao have principles. You don't deceive people just for Non-Gang. That's too vulgar. In this life, the most important reason we deceive people is for fun! For the game! As long as the game is good, Non-Gang will come pouring in."

"Playing people for a bit of Non-Gang is nothing. The real skill is making your heart feel comfortable, making yourself laugh out loud. That's the true talent."

"Well said, Brother Six-Ten. I've always loved a good game myself. That's why I joined Zuowangdao."

"Oh-ho! Quick study, kid! But you're still a bit off if you think you can fool me. I know you—you didn't just walk up and join Zuowangdao on your own."

"We Zuowangdao always recruit through deception. You were tricked into joining."

When Li Huowang didn't respond, Six-Ten continued, "Don't worry about it. It's no big deal. I got in the same way back in the day. Even our boss, The Dice, joined like that."

Li Huowang smiled. "That deception was actually pretty clumsy. I wasn't planning anything. I just wanted to see how much Non-Gang I'd get for fooling you."

"Oh—that's what this is about. You wanted Non-Gang. Why didn't you say so? I've got a job lined up. How about we team up?"

"Get it done, and you'll have Non-Gang coming out your ears."

Six-Ten took a sip of his tea, then looked up thoughtfully at Li Huowang. "You didn't poison my tea while I was tricking that woman, did you?"

"No, of course not." Li Huowang said, completely calm.

They exchanged a knowing smile, then simultaneously raised their cups. The tea inside sloshed high into the air as they clinked them hard, splashing into each other's cups. They both drank it all down in one go.

Six-Ten smacked his lips. "Not bad stuff. A bit cheap, though. Poison—that's the specialty of the women back in the stockade."

Li Huowang didn't take the bait. Instead, he simply bowed to Six-Ten. "Alright. I'm in. Lead on, Senior Six-Ten. What's the game?"

"How can you call it a 'game'? We're going to help someone. Let's go."

Seeing Six-Ten get up from the table, Li Huowang followed.

They walked one behind the other along the clean streets, indistinguishable from the bustling crowd around them.

"Senior, who are we going to help?" Li Huowang asked.

"We're going to help good people, of course. Let me tell you—the Non-Gang you get depends on who you trick. Some give more, some give less."

"The lowest are ordinary mortals. A step up are the literate, the educated. Then come the government officials. After that, the heretical sects and wandering cultivators."

"Anyway, the greater the impact, the more Non-Gang you get."

"Oh—I see. Senior, if we managed to trick the emperor, would that give us the most?"

"Of course. Do you know how our current boss, The Dice, earned that title?"