The Price of Confession

“You want me to lie to her!” Li Huowang’s words were ground out from between his teeth as he stared at the Hongzhong before him.

“Hey! What’s wrong with lying? Why do you look down on it? Lying can be used for evil or for good! If you do what I say now, it’s a white lie!”

As Hongzhong grew more excited, the sighing monk beside him walked over and pulled him away from Li Huowang.

“Senior Li?” Sensing something was wrong, Bai Lingmiao’s voice became much softer.

She reached out her pale, soft hand and gently covered Li Huowang’s skeletal, blackened fingers.

“Senior Li, don’t think about it so much. You must be exhausted after such a long journey. Rest for a while. We can talk about things tomorrow.”

Bai Lingmiao helped Li Huowang to her own bedside. Without a hint of disgust at his terrifying appearance, she let him lie down in her bedding.

Lying under the smooth silk quilt, his head on the rustling rice-husk pillow, Li Huowang took a slow breath. It was filled with Bai Lingmiao’s familiar, faint fragrance.

“Senior Li, you got soaked. I’ll go make you some ginger soup to ward off the chill.” Bai Lingmiao said this and stood up to head for the kitchen.

Li Huowang raised a hand and caught her wrist. “Miaomiao… can I ask you something? In your eyes, what are your clan, the Bai family, like?”

“My clan? Everyone’s very good. We help each other out. We’re not like other places where people are always arguing,” Bai Lingmiao replied, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Senior Li, what’s wrong? Why are you suddenly asking questions like that?”

“You’ve never noticed… anything strange?”

“No… Oh! Right, the Bai family does go to the ancestral hall more often than other places. When I was little, I used to pester my grandfather all the time, trying to get him to take me in to see what was inside. But he always said I was a girl and couldn’t enter the ancestral hall.”

As she said this, something occurred to Bai Lingmiao. Her mouth fell open in surprise, and she instinctively covered it with her hand.

“Senior Li, have you met them? Where are they now? Are my father and mother alright?”

Li Huowang took a deep breath, then let it out with force, as if trying to expel the emotions pressing down on his chest. But it did no good.

He really wanted to do what Hongzhong said. If he did, nothing would have to change. But he just couldn’t.

“Miaomiao… I’m sorry. They’re all dead. I killed them.”

Bai Lingmiao, sitting beside the bed, froze. Her body became as still as a statue.

Lying on the bed, Li Huowang spoke in a slow, even tone, recounting everything that had happened before. During this time, Bai Lingmiao made no sound. Only her grip on Li Huowang’s hand grew progressively colder.

When Li Huowang had finished explaining the whole story, the room fell silent. The only sound was the steady drip of rain outside.

Her long, white eyelashes blinked. Two clear tears slowly traced their way down from the corners of Bai Lingmiao’s eyes. Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“Senior Li… was there something I did wrong? Why did you kill everyone in my village?”

Images of Bai Lingmiao flashed through Li Huowang’s mind—Bai Lingmiao pawning her gold anklet for travel money, Bai Lingmiao crying piteously when he was injured, Bai Lingmiao traveling with him and dreaming of the scene when they returned home.

“I don’t know how it turned out this way. I was so cold over there. I just wanted to warm myself by the fire. I… I really only wanted to warm myself. I really only wanted to warm myself by the fire…” Li Huowang’s explanation was weak and pale.

Fear creeping onto her face, Bai Lingmiao suddenly pulled her hand from his and backed away, step by step.

Just as she was moving faster, about to flee through the door, Li Huowang caught her from behind, wrapping his arms around her.

The puppet-like stillness on Bai Lingmiao’s face shattered in an instant. She struggled wildly, pounding her fists against him in a mad frenzy, and let out a piercing shriek from her wide-open mouth.

Finally, she threw herself onto him, biting him furiously, tearing at the black scabs.

But when she saw the blood oozing from Li Huowang’s wounds, she stopped. Covering her face with both hands, she slowly sank to the ground and wept in muffled sobs.

One stood, one crouched. They remained frozen in place.

Standing there, Li Huowang silently watched her white hair. What was going through his mind at that moment, only he knew.

This situation lasted for a long time. The light in the room slowly faded with the dusk.

After a long while, Bai Lingmiao stood up, her voice choked with sobs. Without looking at Li Huowang, she walked toward the door.

Li Huowang stopped her again. “No. You don’t have to go. This is Niuxin Village. This is your home. I’m the one who should leave.”

With that, he turned and left. He didn’t try to hold onto anything.

“You’ve already figured it out, haven’t you? The moment you opened your mouth, your fate with Bai Lingmiao was sealed. Why did you still do it?”

Li Huowang’s expression was stiff as wood, completely ignoring the hallucination’s words. “What’s the matter? Regret not using my kind deception now?”

“A lie is a lie! There is no good or evil in it! I bear the consequences of my own mistakes! That’s what gives me peace of mind!” Li Huowang’s sudden roar startled the other brothers and sisters who had drawn near.

“Senior Li, you just got back and you’re leaving? Miaomiao is so worried about you. No matter what you do, you have to consider her feelings, don’t you?” Chun Xiaoman asked.

“Take care of her for me. You all settle down here and live a good, peaceful life. Don’t run around in this chaotic world.”

As Li Huowang walked through Niuxin Village, more and more of his fellow disciples gathered around him.

When he reached the head of the village again, everyone else had arrived.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he charged straight into the heavy rain.

“Senior Li, where are you going? Let’s come with you!”

“Stop right there!! None of you follow me!” Li Huowang’s shout froze everyone in their tracks.

In the pouring rain, soaked through to the bone, Li Huowang turned around and looked at all of them. After taking a few deep breaths, he suddenly erupted into a torrent of abuse.

“Get lost! Go far away! I’ve already delivered your loved ones’ ashes! I’ve already sent out the letters of my final wishes from the Qingfeng Temple! I’ve fulfilled every promise I ever made you! What more do you want from me?!”

“Look at all these wounds on my body! I’ve done more than enough for you!! I’m tired!! You bunch of crippled rejects—do you want to be a burden on me for the rest of my life?!”

Watching their hurt faces, his own face streaming with water, Li Huowang spun around abruptly and dashed out of Niuxin Village.

The truth was, ever since this happened, Li Huowang had already made up his mind on the journey back: he had to leave everyone.

He really didn’t dare let anyone else stay by his side anymore. The closer they were, the more he feared it. He was afraid that one day, just like he’d burned the Bai family to death, he would burn them all alive.

A madman who doesn’t know what he’s doing is terrifying. A madman with all sorts of mysterious, unfathomable abilities is even more so.