The Things

1,292 words

The Things

Listening to Gouwa’s incessant bragging, Lü Xiucai finally lost his temper. He slammed his bucket to the ground and glared at him.

“So what if you’re special? You’re only here because of your senior brother! If that woman hadn’t given you a second look…”

“Hey! You hit the nail on the head! I do rely on my senior brother~! But guess what? You don’t have one~” Gouwa replied, his pride overflowing.

“So what? I don’t even want one! Once my dad buys that opera house—” Lü Xiucai muttered indignantly. He picked up his bucket and walked back inside, pouting.

They had barely escaped Qingqiu and traveled a long, dusty road. Li Huowang could feel the exhaustion radiating from the others, so he decided they would rest here for a few more days before moving on.

Conveniently, there was an opera troupe nearby. It would give them something to do.

For the next few days, Troupe Leader Lü went to watch every single performance. He always squeezed into the front row, staring at the performers with an intensity that suggested he wanted to swallow them whole.

That night, in the empty granary they were using as a shelter, Li Huowang sat on a pile of bedding, concentrating on the study of Han Fu’s bronze coin sword.

From that Nascent Soul’s ramblings, Li Huowang had learned that this sword had a significant origin. It also possessed the power to slay evil.

During his fight with Han Fu, Li Huowang had seen the sword’s coins scatter. If he could truly master this weapon, he wouldn’t have to cut off his own fingers every time he needed a ranged attack.

Honestly, when it came to danger, his most reliable option was still the Thousand Greats Record, a tool with terrible side effects. Li Huowang had always wanted to replace this rather unhealthy method of self-preservation.

The problem was that he still hadn’t found a suitable test subject. He couldn’t experiment with it just yet.

Li Huowang turned his head to look at the belongings he had stacked beside him.

There was the torture kit he’d had the blacksmith make, the longsword he’d carried with him since Qingfeng Temple, the Purple Tassel Sword he’d gotten from the abbess, and the gourd holding nineteen pellets of Yang Life.

And finally, there was the Heavenly Scripture, a stone slab that had been utterly useless.

Li Huowang’s eyes slowly swept across each item, finally settling on Danyangzi’s Heavenly Scripture.

He picked it up and examined it inch by inch, occasionally pressing his thumb against the surface.

But in the end, he confirmed it was just a stone slab engraved with moralistic adages encouraging good behavior. There was nothing else hidden within it.

Li Huowang let out a sigh and tossed the heavy slab to the ground. He felt foolish for carrying this stone a thousand li for no reason.

“Maybe I should just throw it away?” he thought. After a moment’s consideration, he picked the stone back up.

“No. Even if it’s useless for anything else, it’s at least sturdy. I’m sure it can serve some purpose.”

He looked around, his gaze finally landing on Gao Zhijian, who was playing with Mantou.

“Zhijian, come here. I’m giving you a heartguard.”

Soon, the stone slab, tied with a chain, was hanging on Gao Zhijian’s chest. The chain had come from the ropes that had once bound Li Huowang.

Gao Zhijian was very nervous about having such a valuable item strapped to him. He instinctively tried to take it off.

“Don’t take it off. Keep this on you from now on. It’s completely useless with me, but at least it has some value with you.”

Li Huowang drew the Purple Tassel Sword and gently stabbed at Gao Zhijian’s chest. The blade only left a small white scratch.

But as he looked at Gao Zhijian, he felt something was off. With just a single slab on his chest, it looked ridiculous, like a child’s bellyband that didn’t cover enough.

“Isn’t Peng Longteng’s armor still on the oxcart? Go put it on,” Li Huowang instructed.

That madwoman’s scale armor was high-quality stuff. It had even managed to block his own Purple Tassel Sword, which was saturated with killing intent.

Hearing Li Huowang’s words, Gao Zhijian shook his head and stammered, “It… it’s too… too heavy!”

“Who told you to wear all of it? Just pick a few of the lighter pieces. Protect your shoulders and neck, the vital spots.”

Gao Zhijian scratched the back of his head, then turned and walked toward the oxcart outside.

Soon, heavy silver scale armor covered Gao Zhijian’s body. As he pulled the visor down over his face and lifted his heavy, spiked iron club onto his shoulder, a terrifying beast appeared before Li Huowang.

Li Huowang looked at his handiwork and nodded with satisfaction. “Alright! Let’s go out and try it out!”

Soon, the crisp sound of metal clashing echoed from outside the courtyard. Li Huowang was surprised to find that this upgraded Gao Zhijian could hold his own even without the Thousand Greats Record.

Breathing heavily, Li Huowang stopped and looked at Gao Zhijian. “Good. From now on, whenever there’s trouble, remember to put this on. It’ll definitely come in handy.”

Gao Zhijian opened his visor, revealing his honest face. He nodded, then reached back to scratch his head, only to feel the smooth surface of the helmet.

“By the way, everyone else went to watch the opera. Why didn’t you go?” Li Huowang asked as he sheathed his sword.

“It’s… it’s not good!” said Gao Zhijian, soaked in his own sweat. He stripped off the heavy armor and walked over to Mantou, who was crouched nearby. He easily flipped the dog over and used his thick fingers to rub her white belly.

Mantou was delighted to have someone play with her. She stuck out her tongue, wriggled her body, and kicked her legs in the air.

Watching the man and his dog, Li Huowang shook his head, picked up his sword, and walked back into the room.

One by one, he strapped his belongings onto his body. In the end, he hesitated in front of three swords.

There was the abbess’s Purple Tassel Sword, Han Fu’s bronze coin sword, and the sharp longsword that had once belonged to Senior Brother Changming back at Qingfeng Temple.

He wasn’t a blacksmith, and besides, carrying three swords was just too heavy.

As Li Huowang was still deliberating, Lü Xiucai burst in, a green leaf stuck to his hair.

When he saw Li Huowang was alone, he dropped to his knees with eager fervor and kowtowed three times heavily. “Daoist! I want to become your disciple! Teach me your supernatural powers!”

“Hm?” Li Huowang looked at him with confusion, wondering what kind of stunt he was pulling. Had he gotten too carried away watching the opera? “Stop kneeling. I can’t teach you.”

Li Huowang was telling the truth. Whether this kid wanted to learn his misplacement ability or how to use the Thousand Greats Record, neither was something he could teach.

The only things he could teach someone else were his half-baked alchemy skills and his adept techniques for administering torture. And he doubted that was what the kid wanted.

“Daoist, you have to teach me! If you don’t, I… I won’t get up!” Lü Xiucai kowtowed again heavily.

“Then stay kneeling,” Li Huowang replied, turning back to reconsider the three swords on the ground.

Just then, one-armed Chun Xiaoman walked in from outside.

Seeing this woman whose entire body was covered in black hair, Li Huowang thought for a moment. He picked up the longsword that had been with him the longest and tossed it to her.

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Reading Guide Decoding

A Quiet Arms Race

Cultural / Xianxia Notes

Bronze Coin Sword (铜钱剑): This isn’t just a cool weapon; it’s a real artifact with deep roots in Daoist ritual. Traditionally, a bronze coin sword is made by stringing together ancient Chinese coins (usually 108, a sacred Buddhist number co-opted by Daoism) with red thread. The red thread signifies yang energy, warding off evil. The coins themselves are imbued with the “sovereign qi” (王气) of the empire, making them powerful apotropaic tools. Han Fu’s ability to make the coins scatter and reform is a supernatural upgrade on this folk tradition, turning a ritual object into a tactical weapon. It’s a perfect example of how Dao Gui Yi Xian takes real-world religious items and twists them into horrifying (or in this case, very useful) tools for its macabre world.

The Heavenly Scripture as Armor: The idea of using a sacred text as a shield is a darkly humorous twist. In Chinese folklore, there’s a long history of talismans and scriptures being used for physical protection. A copy of the Dao De Jing or a sutra was sometimes placed over the heart to ward off evil spirits or even physical harm. Li Huowang is applying this folk logic in the most brutally pragmatic way possible. The scripture’s content is useless to him, its spiritual power non-existent, but its physical form—a sturdy stone slab—is still a resource. It’s a brilliant, grimly materialist approach to the supernatural world.

Chapter Overview

Welcome back, fellow survivors! After the frantic escape from Qingqiu, Chapter 262 gives us a breather—a chapter of inventory management, gear upgrades, and quiet character beats. But don’t mistake this for a “slice of life” episode. This is the calm before the storm, where Li Huowang does what he does best: take stock of his assets, weaponize his surroundings, and make cold, pragmatic decisions. We get a hilarious (and slightly pathetic) spat between Gouwa and Lü Xiucai, a heartwarming man-dog bonding moment, and a masterclass in how to turn a useless slab of rock into a piece of improvised armor. It’s a palate cleanser, but one that subtly sharpens the group’s combat readiness. Get ready for a chapter that feels deceptively safe—which should make you, dear reader, very nervous.

Key Plot Points

The Bickering Duo: Gouwa and Lü Xiucai have a petty argument. Gouwa lords his connection to Li Huowang over Lü Xiucai, who gets so angry he storms off, muttering about his dad’s future opera house. It’s a classic kid-behaving-badly scene that establishes the social dynamics within the group.
Li Huowang’s Arsenal Audit: Alone in the granary, Li Huowang studies Han Fu’s bronze coin sword. He realizes that with this weapon’s scattering ability, he might finally have a viable ranged option that doesn’t require self-mutilation via the Thousand Greats Record.
The Gear Up Sequence: Li Huowang decides to repurpose the useless Heavenly Scripture. He straps the stone slab to Gao Zhijian’s chest as a heartguard, then orders him to also wear Peng Longteng’s lightweight armor. The result is a terrifying, heavily armored juggernaut who can hold his own in a spar.
The Failed Apprenticeship: Lü Xiucai bursts in and begs Li Huowang to take him as a disciple. Li Huowang flatly refuses, honestly stating he has nothing to teach. The boy is left kneeling on the floor.
A Transfer of Trust: One-armed Chun Xiaoman enters. Li Huowang, after a moment’s reflection, tosses her the longsword he’s carried since Qingfeng Temple. It’s a quiet but significant act of delegation and trust.

Reading Guide

This chapter is a masterclass in “the quiet before the storm.” The tone is deceptively light, with slapstick comedy from the kids and a heartwarming scene between Gao Zhijian and his dog, Mantou. But don’t be fooled. Li Huowang is doing what he always does—preparing. His decision to arm Gao Zhijian is a tactical upgrade that will almost certainly pay off in the next crisis. Pay close attention to the inventory scene: he’s unhappy with his reliance on the self-harming Thousand Greats Record and is actively seeking alternatives. That’s a crucial character detail. Also, note his refusal to teach Lü Xiucai. It’s not cruelty; it’s a bitter, honest recognition that his “power” is a curse he wouldn’t wish on anyone. The chapter ends with a quiet transfer of his old sword to Chun Xiaoman, a sign that he’s grooming her as a fighter, even with one arm. It’s a chapter of small moves, but each one is a chess piece being placed for a coming, larger conflict.