Facing It

Chapter 188 Facing It

"A birthday present? Sure, what do you want?"

Li Huowang spoke softly into the bedside phone, a faint smile on his lips.

He remembered now. He had told Yang Na he'd get her a birthday present, back then.

Yang Na's voice was quiet for a moment before she spoke again, a trace of caution in her tone. "Huowang... I... I hope that one day, when you're feeling a bit more stable, and you get some time off... you could come pick me up at my school gate. I told my roommates I have a boyfriend, and that he's really handsome, but they just won't believe me."

"I showed them our photos, and they said they looked photoshopped! Ugh, those three crazy girls..."

When I'm feeling a bit more stable? The words left a bitter taste in Li Huowang's mouth.

This hallucination was far too logical for its own good, so much so that it was practically indistinguishable from reality. But no matter how real it seemed, it was still a hallucination.

"Yeah." Li Huowang told a rare lie.

"Mm! I'll make those single dogs so jealous they die!"

The conversation lulled between them.

"Are you doing okay?" Yang Na's question caught Li Huowang off guard. He didn't know how to answer it.

Reflecting on everything that had happened, Li Huowang couldn't bring himself to say "yes." "I'm getting by."

Yang Na's voice grew softer, tinged with a hint of hurt. "Huowang, I like you. I really, really do. But this kind of feeling... it needs both of us to work at it."

"If it's just me trying to keep it going on my own… I'm afraid one day I won't be able to hold on anymore… like my parents. They were so in love when I was little, but in the end, they just grew to hate each other."

Li Huowang took a deep breath and said "Okay" again.

But this time, Yang Na wasn't having it. "Li Huowang! Be serious! Don't just say 'okay' all the time! You have to actually do something!"

"Auntie said you've been refusing to see the doctor! You can't just do that!"

"I know you better than anyone! You just bottle everything up inside! Are you running away from something again? You were so stubborn as a kid, and you're still the same now!"

"I know things are hard for you right now. You're really sick. But you have to get treatment for it."

"That's the only way you can show me how you really feel. So I know you're trying just as hard as I am. Otherwise, I won't be able to stop worrying. I'll start thinking the worst. I'll start thinking you're planning to abandon me again."

Hearing this, Li Huowang's hands clenched into fists. "Nana, I promise you. I will never give up on you. Even if... even if..."

"Even if what?"

Even if you're a hallucination. Li Huowang kept those words locked deep inside his heart.

"Even if my illness never gets better. As long as you still hold on, I will never give up."

Hearing his firm reply, Yang Na's voice regained its youthful energy. She chatted with him again about the funny things happening at her new school.

They talked for half an hour, until Nurse Wang reminded Li Huowang that time was up, and they finally hung up, reluctant to say goodbye.

Lying in bed, Li Huowang let out a deep sigh. He knew things weren't static inside the hallucinations. But facing Yang Na's birthday wish, he had no idea what to do.

After everything that had happened last time, the hospital wouldn't even let him have a temporary discharge, let alone anything else. They'd probably need approval from a dozen different departments just to loosen his restraints.

And Yang Na's university wasn't even in the same city. Even if it had been, there was no way he could go.

"Seeing you talk to her so normally... want to try talking to the doctor today?"

Li Huowang turned his head away from Nurse Wang in irritation.

"Ah, little brother, my heart was practically melting listening to you two. You can't let a good girl like that down. Don't give up on your treatment."

"Isn't that a patient's private business? Are we really that close?" Li Huowang was getting annoyed.

"You might not know me, but I know you inside and out. I'm the one who bathes you, puts in and takes out your catheter, and cleans up your bedpan. Honestly, I don't even treat my own mother this well."

"You're pretty easy, though. No need to turn you. Young people have good bodies. Lying this long and no bedsores. Bed Nineteen over there, though... we have to turn him every few hours."

Whether it was because of her personality or something else, Nurse Wang seemed very eager to chat. Her constant chatter only annoyed Li Huowang further.

"I'm tired. Can I get some rest?"

"Oh, little brother, you're practically growing roots into that bed. How can you be tired? Tired from lying down? Just keep me company and talk for a while. This hospital is a cold, heartless place. They won't even let us play on our phones in the break room. If the pay wasn't decent and they didn't offer social insurance, I'd have quit a long time ago."

"Little brother, you really won't let the doctor see you? What would your Yang Na think if she found out?"

That comment made Li Huowang's expression turn serious. "Fine. Go get the doctor."

Even if it was a hallucination, he didn't want to make Yang Na sad.

"Oh, I forgot. It's Sunday. Doctor Hou is off. How about tomorrow?"

"Are you messing with me?" Li Huowang was beginning to dislike this nurse.

"Hey, don't say that. I wouldn't dare mess with you. Your mom's a tough one. Who wants to get a complaint from her? Doctor Hou really isn't here. Tomorrow. I'll definitely tell him tomorrow."

"Oh, by the way, will you be here tomorrow? I heard the doctors say your condition is really rare. They're thinking of naming it after you."

Li Huowang closed his eyes in exasperation, not wanting to listen anymore.

As her droning voice continued in the background, Li Huowang drifted into a hazy sleep.

When he woke again, he found himself back on the wooden bed, chains wrapped around his body, and a blanket covering him. He let out a sigh of relief.

Li Huowang looked at Bai Lingmiao beside him. Her features gradually seemed to blur and overlap with Yang Na's.

A hallucination is, after all, just a hallucination. Having gone through one, what he had to cherish was reality.

As he stared, a thought flashed through Li Huowang's mind.

What Yang Na was thinking… could Bai Lingmiao feel the same way?

Under his gaze, Bai Lingmiao's long, white eyelashes fluttered, and she slowly opened her eyes.

Seeing Li Huowang's now clear gaze, Bai Lingmiao smiled faintly. "Senior Brother Li, it's only the fourth watch. Let me undo your chains and you can sleep a little longer."

She pushed back the blanket and busied herself around him, loosening the restraints.

Staring at the face so close to his own, Li Huowang suddenly spoke. "Today... were you jealous of that bride?"

Bai Lingmiao's face flushed red. Though shy, she didn't bother to lie about it. "Mm. Very jealous."

"Senior Brother Li... when we get to our home... will you marry me? You won't think less of me, will you?"

Hearing this, Li Huowang leaned forward slightly and gently brushed his lips against her soft mouth.

Bai Lingmiao was clearly startled by his boldness. She stood frozen, completely at a loss for what to do.

Li Huowang sat up and reached out, pulling her into the warmth of the blankets.

That day, Li Huowang woke up very late.