Bewilderment

CHAPTER 84: BEWILDERMENT

Jingxin was unlike anyone he had ever met before. Her appearance was terrifying, but her speech was remarkably easygoing.

Yet right now, Li Huowang would rather face this massive, fat woman. He would rather she tear off her mask and attack him like everyone else did. At least then he would feel better inside.

Not like this—grinning at him warmly, as if every word she spoke were the absolute truth.

"What if… it's actually real?" Li Huowang began to panic. His thoughts grew tangled, his expression twisting into extreme anguish.

The air around him pressed in like a solid mass, squeezing him until even breathing became difficult.

Images flashed through his mind in a chaotic stream. But when the image of Yang Na handing him those rolls of toilet paper surfaced, Li Huowang felt like he had grabbed hold of an anchor.

"No! That's still wrong! A person might be able to hallucinate an entire world, but they absolutely cannot hallucinate knowledge!"

Every piece of knowledge he had learned in high school began to flash rapidly through his mind.

Watching the young man before her clutch his head and mutter to himself, Jingxin's face showed a trace of pity. "Poor wretch."

But no matter what she thought, Li Huowang recovered quickly. Though exhaustion lined his face, his eyes had regained their resolve.

"I am Li Huowang! I transmigrated here. That much is beyond doubt! I am not some delusional lunatic from this world—I am a transmigrator! Absolutely!"

"It seems you've figured things out on your own? Do you believe what I say, or not?"

"Abbess Jingxin, let's stop talking about your son. Let's get straight to the point. Just tell me what a Heart-Element is." Li Huowang began trying to reclaim control of the conversation.

A fat finger, its nail cracked and trembling, pointed unsteadily at Li Huowang's chest. "The Heart-Element is you. It is also the bewilderment in your heart, the karmic obstacles in your mind, and the fate bound to your body."

"Judging by the smell of the few things on your back, you've killed quite a few people, haven't you? So you're no outsider. You should know something about practicing the formless arts. In any sect, aside from external tools, the most important thing is one's own mindscape."

"The bewilderment and other karmic obstacles on a Heart-Element are far purer and more stable than ordinary people's. Some sects need the bewilderment from a Heart-Element to stabilize their own mindscape. And even if they don't, selling a Heart-Element to those who do can net a huge profit."

"Mindscape? Emotions?"

Li Huowang immediately thought of the red bamboo slip's requirement for intense suffering, and the monks of Zhengde Temple—their obsession with beasts, flesh monsters, and depraved acts between men.

So everything they did followed a logic. For the first time, Li Huowang gained a preliminary understanding of the other supernatural powers in this world.

"Some people capture you for other reasons. But most people capture you for the bewilderment you carry. Because only a Heart-Element's heart is constantly filled with bewilderment. Ordinary people simply cannot achieve that."

Through her words, Li Huowang finally understood. Human emotions in this world were not intangible, ethereal things. They were something that could affect reality.

Human emotions could even be used as currency.

"So… the bewilderment in my heart can help others cultivate?" Li Huowang said, his tone resolute. "But right now, I'm not bewildered at all. I am very certain that world over there is an illusion, and this place is reality. Even if I fall into that illusion again, I will never mistake it for reality."

Jingxin looked at him, a faint smile spreading across her face. "Really? Well then, if you say so. I'm an old nun—I can't be bothered to argue with you. You may go."

"Go?" Hearing her dismiss him, Li Huowang immediately snapped back to attention. He hadn't even gotten to his main purpose yet. He hadn't come here just to learn about Heart-Elements.

"Abbess Jingxin, I came to ask you to perform an exorcism."

Compared to the trouble she was talking about, Danyangzi was clearly more dangerous. His goal in coming here was to get rid of him.

He had to stay alive first, then worry about whether he would go mad. If Danyangzi took over his body, there wouldn't be anything left to worry about.

"Oh? So you weren't asking me how to solve your Heart-Element problem? Then what were you rambling about just now? Why didn't you just get to the point?" Jingxin's face fell, her displeasure obvious.

After Li Huowang apologized, he began to recount the entire sequence of events in detail.

"Immortality? Someone actually achieved immortality in this day and age?"

Jingxin muttered to herself, then reached under her nun's hat and pulled out a pair of ox-horn-shaped divination blocks. She began to cast them, murmuring to herself.

After staring at them for a long time, she used her two empty, eyeless sockets to study Li Huowang's face again.

Just as Li Huowang began to feel intensely uncomfortable under her gaze, Jingxin suddenly spoke. "That day he became an immortal… you didn't eat your master, did you?"

"…Huh?" Li Huowang was completely baffled by the question.

"How could I have eaten him? If I had a way to deal with Danyangzi, would I have needed to blow myself up with him in the first place?"

"Mm." Jingxin didn't argue. She simply nodded quietly.

With a flick of her right hand, Li Huowang instantly felt an unbearable greasiness all over his body, as if something were moving just beneath his skin.

"Don't wipe it off. Bear with it."

They maintained this state for the time it takes two sticks of incense to burn. Then Jingxin spoke.

"I have a way to get rid of your master. But the ritual will consume a tremendous amount of karma merit. So… why should I help you?"

Li Huowang's heart skipped a beat. He immediately understood: she was asking for payment.

But oddly enough, her open and straightforward demand for compensation felt more trustworthy than the Abbot of Zhengde Temple's sanctimonious talk of universal salvation.

He quickly laid out the Heavenly Scripture, the gourd containing yang life, and the red bamboo slip on the ground.

"As long as you can get rid of Danyangzi, you can take your pick."

But to his surprise, Jingxin was utterly disgusted by the offerings.

"What is this junk? Get it away from me! Especially that Thousand Greats Record—take it as far away as possible, lest it defile the grounds of our Anci Nunnery!"

She seemed extremely repulsed by the red bamboo slip. Li Huowang learned its name for the first time.

After saying this, a look of extreme greed spread across her old face. "I smell the scent of gold on you."

Hearing this, Li Huowang immediately caught on. "No problem. I will donate that gold to the bodhisattva of Anci Nunnery, to guild the sacred image."

When money came up, Jingxin's demeanor seemed to change entirely. Gone was her earlier amiability, replaced by a petty and calculating air.

"Oh, and there's silver too. I smell silver on you. I want that as well. But aside from these worldly possessions, I also need you to find something for me."