Background
Text Color
Font Size

Home

1,250 words

“Brother Li!” Bai Lingmiao's tear-choked voice made Li Huowang, who was carrying his lantern in the darkness, turn around to look at the others standing in the sunlight by the cave entrance.

He waved at them once more. “Go on, all of you. Go home.”

“Brother Li, you should come too. It's safer traveling together. Did you forget something?” Zhao Wu, lying on the fool's back, asked. His expression was tense, as if he sensed something was wrong.

“Heh. Come along to where?” Li Huowang turned, hiding his face again in the darkness.

“Home, to celebrate the New Year. Brother Li, where is your home?”

Li Huowang let out a silent laugh in the dark. He picked up his lantern and started walking back the way he came. “Home? I don't have a home anymore. Mine's long gone. I can't go back. Can't go back!”

Li Huowang walked through the darkness. Qingfeng Temple was very quiet now. The only thing keeping him company was the sound of his own footsteps.

Then, he began to hum. His steps grew lighter. The oil lamp in his hand swayed left and right in a steady rhythm.

Accompanied by his own song, Li Huowang returned to his quarters. He closed the door, set the oil lamp on the table, didn't even bother to wipe the blood from his face and body, and lay down on the stone bed, closing his eyes.

“It's the first day of the month. I didn't eat that disgusting Black Tai Sui this month. I should be able to see Yang Na again soon, right?” At the thought, the corners of Li Huowang's mouth turned up slightly.

He waited quietly, waiting for his best childhood friend to come and take him back to his own world.

His consciousness, exhausted from a sleepless night, began to fade. But just as he was about to sink into a beautiful dream, the door suddenly opened.

Li Huowang sat up, rubbing his eyes. Gouwa, Zhao Wu, and the others were standing in the doorway.

Bai Lingmiao stood there, anxious. Her eyes darted away for a moment before finally settling into determination.

“Brother Li, if you can't go home, then come with me to mine. It's very spacious, and the east wing is empty...”

Li Huowang looked at the kind girl before him and shook his head slightly. “This place is fine. I'm used to it here.”

A madman who talked to himself and flailed his arms—he could only stay in a dark place like this so he wouldn't scare anyone else.

Bai Lingmiao's lips trembled slightly, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

“I once had a home. I once had a family. But...” Li Huowang looked up at the pitch-black ceiling, his expression complex as he began to recall something.

Gouwa thought for a moment, then winked at the others and said quietly, “Since Brother Li said he wants to stay here, maybe we should just go?”

“Shut up!” Bai Lingmiao's scolding made Gouwa jump. This was nothing like the timid girl she used to be.

Bai Lingmiao strode forward quickly, her expression filled with stubborn determination. “Is this how you honor your family? If your family from before knew what you've become, what would they think?”

A bitter smile appeared on Li Huowang's face. “What would they think? How should I know? I can't even be sure if they're real!”

“Maybe I'm just a madman with nothing. Everything. Everything is just something I completely made up.” Li Huowang's expression twisted with pain.

Bai Lingmiao reached out her pale, almost translucent hands and took Li Huowang's. “Brother Li, you don't have nothing. You still have us.”

Li Huowang stared blankly at the girl before him, at her stubborn, delicate face.

In that instant, he realized he knew very little about this girl. “Why is she being so good to me?”

Suddenly, everything around him began to shift. The cave walls and the clean white walls of the hospital started to alternate.

Bai Lingmiao's features began to melt, then re-solidify into Yang Na's face. Tears streaming down her face, she was full of worry.

“Nana!” Li Huowang lurched forward, his expression agonized, and held her tight.

“Huowang, don't give up on yourself. You have to live. No matter what happens, you have to live, okay?” Yang Na's voice trembled.

“You have to hold on. No matter what you're going through, never lie down for it.”

Then that face changed again, into his mother's. “Son, you can't die! If you die, how are your father and I supposed to go on?!”

The face changed rapidly, showing Li Huowang everyone he knew, each one cheering him on.

Then, all at once, everything froze. The bright hospital room dimmed quickly.

Li Huowang slowly let go of his embrace and realized he was holding Bai Lingmiao.

The girl in his arms was clearly a little shy, but her eyes didn't look away. “Brother Li, let's leave. This place feels awful to me.”

Then, she took the slips of paper from her waist pouch and pressed them into his hands. “Brother Li, it's useless for you to give these to us. None of us can read.”

“Yeah, Brother Li, this is your job. No one else can do it.” The others chimed in from the doorway.

“I... I... I can...” The fool started to speak, but Zhao Wu quickly covered his mouth. Leaning in, Zhao Wu whispered, “Even if you can read, you'd better pretend you can't right now!”

Li Huowang silently looked down at the suicide notes in his hands, thinking about who knows what.

Bai Lingmiao pushed his hands forward, pressing the notes closer to him. “Brother Li, you promised them yourself. A real man doesn't go back on his word, you know.”

Reality and hallucination churned in his mind. Finally, Li Huowang reached out and took the papers.

“Let's go.”

Li Huowang had made up his mind. No matter where he was, he would do his best to live. Not just for himself, but for the family that might, or might not, exist.

As soon as the words left his mouth, everyone else's faces broke into relieved smiles.

They didn't know what had just gone through Li Huowang's head, but as long as he wasn't staying in this godforsaken place, that was all that mattered.

The group crowded around Li Huowang and walked out of the dim room, heading for the cave entrance. But they hadn't gone more than a few steps before Li Huowang called them to a halt.

“Wait. Since we've decided to leave, we need to clean this place out properly. Fool, you carry Zhao Wu. Take the others to the kitchen and grab some food for the road. We can't travel on an empty stomach.”

Then Li Huowang took Bai Lingmiao to the alchemy hall to collect the pills he recognized. He had been practicing alchemy for a while now. With these supplies, he could be considered half a doctor. He had no idea how far their homes were, so better to be prepared.

But he only took the ones he knew. He wouldn't touch, let alone take, any of the other pills Danyangzi had made.

When everyone gathered in the Main Hall, Li Huowang spoke again. “Wait a little longer. There's one more thing I need to get.” Saying this, he carefully picked up his oil lamp and walked toward the cave where the Black Tai Sui was kept.