Danyangzi

When he saw the two things prostrating themselves before Danyangzi’s own writhing form, a guess formed in Li Huowang’s mind. They’re helping him gather ingredients?

As he thought this, Li Huowang watched Danyangzi bend down, scoop a handful of dirt from the ground, and stuff it into his own mouth. Then he started chattering at the two masses in a guttural stream.

The sound was strange. It didn’t sound like anything a human throat could produce. Yet the two things seemed to understand—they bobbed up and down once, then scattered swiftly.

With their departure, the twisting, dizzying chaos gradually settled back to normal.

“Don’t worry, child. Even if the things on the Heavenly Scripture are hard to come by, your master still has connections in the outside world. Nothing can stump me.” Danyangzi said smugly.

“Of course, Master! You’re practically an immortal already—what in this world could possibly trouble you? But, Master… what were those things?”

“Heh heh, child, you still have much to learn. Those are what the Heavenly Scripture calls ‘Wandering Lords.’”

The crisis had kept Li Huowang’s nerves taut, never giving him time to think about one question: what kind of world was this place?

A Great Grandmother. A Wandering Lord. None of them seemed like anything ordinary.

If he hadn’t eaten normal pork and sheep heads during meals, he might have thought nothing alive in this world was normal at all.

“Ah, these are fine treasures. This Daoist went through quite some trouble to snatch them up back in the day.” Danyangzi tucked the bronze bell back into his sleeve.

“Snatch?”

“Of course you snatch them! Would someone give them to you for free? Hah! If you don’t have something and others do, what do you do? Snatch it! ”

“I learned that when I was five. A beggar boy bigger than me snatched a moldy bun right out of my hands.”

“When I was young, I snatched women, horses, and silver. Later, I snatched cultivation methods, magical instruments, disciples—hell, even Qingfeng Temple itself was snatched! Look at that clay statue of our Patriarch. Has it said a single word of protest? Heh heh.” A hint of pride crept across Danyangzi’s face.

“Child, when an elder speaks, you listen. This is me teaching you how to survive, understand? I only tell you this because I consider you one of my own.”

“But Master… what if you can’t out-snatch them?”

“Can’t out-snatch them? Then you form a gang and snatch them together! What’s wrong with that literate brain of yours? If you can’t gang up on them, you drug them! If the drugs don’t work, you stab them in the back!!”

With just a few sentences, Li Huowang understood the scabby-headed old man’s entire life philosophy. It also explained why none of his methods fit together—everything he had was a patchwork of stolen pieces, one from here, another from there.

“Master… Master lives a very clear life.”

“Hah! So what if I can’t read? So what if I lack talent? They call me a heretic, say I have no Dao heart. But when I become an immortal, I’ll pry their eyelids open and make them see—who’s the one without talent now! Who’s the one without a Dao heart!” As Danyangzi spoke, his expression turned savage, his ugly face twisted with hatred.

Li Huowang didn’t know who ‘they’ were, but he could be certain the old man’s grudge ran deep.

For the next while, Li Huowang practically lived and ate with Danyangzi, dedicating himself fully to concocting the immortal method from the Heavenly Scripture.

During this time, he also secretly refined the details, making the whole process seem more and more credible.

Soon, the things he’d described were delivered.

He stared at the grey-white slimy mass covered in black fuzz, and the amorphous black swelling that pulsed with a faint, sickly light beside it.

Besides marveling at how disgustingly grotesque they were, Li Huowang was stunned by Danyangzi’s sheer ability—to actually procure things like this.

“Master, shall we light the furnace?” Li Huowang asked.

“Not yet. There’s still a while until the New Year. Come, let’s go have the New Year’s Eve dinner first.”

Danyangzi’s words caught Li Huowang off guard. What did the New Year have to do with alchemy? But seeing Danyangzi already heading out of the alchemy hall, he quickly followed.

When they reached the dining cavern, the other disciples were already there. Calling them ‘other disciples’ was generous—it was just Changren, Changming, and Xuanyuan, three in total.

Danyangzi’s face darkened at the sight of the big round table looking somewhat empty. “Why haven’t you set out bowls and chopsticks for the deceased disciples? Set them all out! Invite them back home for the New Year.”

Soon, when every dead disciple had their own bowl and chopsticks, the round table was packed full.

A satisfied smile returned to Danyangzi’s face. He nodded and retook his seat at the head of the table. Li Huowang sat to his right. The other side was empty—Zheng Kun’s place. “Come! Bring out the dumplings!”

A pot of steaming dumplings was carried in by the servants. The fragrant aroma wafted everywhere. With iron spoons, they carefully ladled one into everyone’s bowl—including the bowls of the dead.

“Heh heh heh. It’s the New Year. Relax, everyone. Eat up.” He said this, but all four of them, Li Huowang included, waited for him to pick up his chopsticks first.

Danyangzi picked up a pair of chopsticks, grabbed a white dumpling, and popped it into his mouth. His eyes closed in bliss as he chewed. “Mm—pork lard and chive filling. Fragrant! Eh? What’s this? A copper coin? Lucky. Lucky find! Hahaha!”

Li Huowang stared at the dumpling in his own bowl for a long moment. Then, gritting his teeth, he began wolfing them down.

Danyangzi watched him with a grin, his eyes crinkling. “You lot were born at the right time. You get to eat dumplings this good.”

“When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a dumpling looked like. I’d only heard how good they were.”

“Later, one New Year’s Eve, I smelled the aroma of cooking coming from someone’s house. I kicked the door in and finally saw what a dumpling was. I didn’t even touch the pretty daughter inside. I chopped everyone down, then squatted on the brick bed and, half-dazed, devoured a full jin of dumplings. Their family used the same pork lard and chive filling.”

The other disciples offered weak, forced laughter. Only Li Huowang kept shoveling food into his mouth.

Danyangzi noticed the tears glistening in Li Huowang’s eyes. Carefully, he picked up his own bowl and poured his dumplings into Li Huowang’s. “Ah, a child from a bitter fate, too. Eat slowly. Don’t choke.”

Amidst the sounds of swallowing and the clatter of bowls and chopsticks, the New Year’s Eve dinner for five came to an end.

Just as Li Huowang thought they’d start alchemy, he saw Danyangzi pat his own scabby head, then pull a stack of red envelopes from his sleeve. He handed them out to Changming, Changren, and even placed some beside the bowls of the dead.

“Here, here. It’s the New Year. Remember to put these under your pillows. Hold on to them well. When I was your age, I never had any elder give me New Year’s money.”

Danyangzi placed the last red envelope beside Zheng Kun’s empty bowl. Then, turning to Li Huowang with a beaming smile, he said, “No need for New Year money for you. Master and disciple will ascend to immortality together. From then on, we’ll share the lifespan of Heaven and Earth!”

Li Huowang smiled. A genuine, happy smile. “Master speaks the truth.”

“Now, let’s go back to the alchemy hall. Light the furnace and start refining! You, child—you’ll tend the fire!”

“Yes, Master!”