The Immortal Method

Danyangzi had found the one who broke the vase, but he couldn’t muster any joy. His expression was complicated as he stared at Zheng Kun’s ruined body. With a vicious kick, he sent it flying.

“I practically raised you like a half-son! And this is how you repay me?!”

The entire cave was dead silent, broken only by Danyangzi’s ragged breathing.

This state lasted for the time it takes two sticks of incense to burn. Slowly, Danyangzi raised his hand and pointed directly at Li Huowang among the crowd.

“You. Come here. Kowtow to the Ancestral Master.”

Li Huowang froze for a brief moment, then, under the gaze of everyone, walked over, knelt, and began kowtowing to the three statues on the wall.

When the full ritual of Three Bows and Nine Kowtows was complete, Li Huowang, now holding three sticks of incense, understood what was coming.

“From now on, you are this Daoist’s close-door disciple!”

“Yes, Master.” Li Huowang’s heart was trembling with excitement. Finally. Don’t worry, Scabby Head. I will absolutely help you achieve “immortality”!!

“Follow me. There’s something I need you to do.” Danyangzi carefully cradled the remaining fragments of the vase-head in his palm.

Following behind Danyangzi, Li Huowang retraced his steps back to the master’s quarters.

“Shhhh—” The black threads coiled around the stone slab flew like snakes, quickly burrowing into Danyangzi’s sleeve, fully revealing what he called the Heavenly Scripture.

“Can you read what’s written here?”

Li Huowang pretended to examine it carefully for a moment, then asked with some confusion, “Master, you told me before that the method of becoming an immortal was to cultivate both Internal and External Alchemy. But that’s not right. There’s nothing about Internal Alchemy here.”

“Hm? What?!” Danyangzi’s expression shifted, dark and uncertain, as he glanced at the vase-head’s corpse.

“Absolutely certain,” Li Huowang declared firmly.

God knows what nonsense the Vase-Girl made up before. If I try to follow her story, I’ll get caught for sure. Better to just come clean and start over.

Besides, I’m not lying. It’s the truth. The so-called immortal method Danyangzi had before was completely fabricated by that Vase-Girl. It was never real.

Of course, what I’m about to make up won’t be real either.

Danyangzi’s face flickered through a storm of emotions. At first, he didn’t want to believe Li Huowang. But the more his paranoid mind worked, the more the doubts piled up.

No wonder I haven’t become an immortal after all this time. No wonder that girl said the things written in this Heavenly Scripture kept changing and couldn’t be memorized. So that’s what was really going on.

“Hah—ptooey!” A mouthful of disgusting green phlegm landed directly on the vase-head’s remains. Danyangzi turned to face Li Huowang. “So you tell me then. What does this Heavenly Scripture say?”

“Mm, it’s a set of internal cultivation techniques. It says that one must, at the moment when the old year has not yet passed and the new year has not yet arrived, take several different External Alchemy pills simultaneously while cultivating, in order to intercept that strand of celestial energy sent down from the heavens into the mortal world, and draw it into one’s body to attain immortality.” Li Huowang stared at the stone slab, frowning deeply as he spoke with all seriousness.

“And there are quite a few different pills required. Take one formula, for example. It needs two tael and four qian of cinnabar, one qian of white croton, one tael and two qian of arsenic, and… the Wandering Lord? Master, what kind of ingredient is the Wandering Lord?”

Danyangzi did not answer. He simply stared at Li Huowang quietly. “Boy. That little girl could deceive me. You wouldn’t deceive me too, would you?”

Li Huowang’s answer was sharp and decisive. “Master, this is the method of becoming an immortal! How could I possibly deceive you? I want to become immortal too!”

“Good!” Danyangzi slapped his hands together heavily and burst into laughter. “Then this time, let’s the two of us, master and disciple, become immortals together.”

Li Huowang’s expression stiffened, then immediately turned wildly excited. “Is that really true, Master? Can that really be done? Thank you, Master! Thank you, Master!!”

Danyangzi carefully studied his expression. Finding nothing unusual, he nodded with understanding.

“Alright. The pills can wait. First, tell me the cultivation technique. Once we, master and disciple, have practiced it until it’s smooth, then we’ll refine the External Alchemy. There’s still time before the New Year.”

“Yes, Master!” Li Huowang then proceeded to recite a so-called technique of the Internal and External Grand Circulation to Danyangzi.

That day, Li Huowang stayed in Danyangzi’s room for a very long time, not returning until late at night.

Carrying a lantern through the tunnels, Li Huowang walked with a light heart. The plan is going smoothly. I’ll reach my goal soon enough.

After being压抑 for so long, finally, something good had happened.

When he arrived at the supply room, he found that the others, as expected, were still awake.

Seeing it was Li Huowang, everyone swarmed him, their eyes bright with excitement. They all understood what today’s events meant. Li Huowang had already made sure to clue them in beforehand.

“Don’t worry. Wait for good news. You’ll be going home soon.”

At these words, nearly everyone choked up, almost weeping with joy. They could finally go home.

“Brother Li, you’re like a parent to me! You’re a living Buddha!” One of them, a man with a polio-induced disability, knelt excitedly on the ground and began to kowtow to Li Huowang.

He seemed to set an example. One by one, the others followed suit.

It took Li Huowang a good while to finally stop this farce. “If it weren’t for all of you at noon today, I would have been finished. Should I be kowtowing to you instead?”

As they got up from the ground, every face was wreathed in smiles, as happy as if it were New Year’s.

Li Huowang looked at the smiling faces before him, and a faint warmth spread through his chest. In this strange world, these oddly-shaped people were his companions now.

“Brother Li, I put on a good show, didn’t I? That Scabby Head is as dumb as a mule. I had him running around in circles,” Gouwa said, slapping his sunken chest and grinning smugly as he tried to claim credit.

“You did. If you hadn’t made that move, Danyangzi wouldn’t have let things go so easily.”

As the others crowded around Li Huowang, chattering with questions, one person was worried about something else.

“Brother Li, are you alright? He really didn’t make things hard for you?” Bai Lingmiao walked over, a hint of concern in her voice.

Hearing this, Li Huowang recalled Danyangzi’s words about becoming immortals together. The fact that Danyangzi is planning to use me as a test subject for his pills… I’ll keep that to myself. She doesn’t need to know.

“He’s got me translating the Heavenly Scripture for him now. What could possibly be wrong? Don’t worry. I’m doing great.”

After chatting for a while, Li Huowang’s expression turned serious. “The first of the month is almost over. Those Wandering Lords will be coming back from market soon, so let’s keep this short. I still need your help with something, Bai Lingmiao. Did your grandfather tell you any more stories?”

I haven’t finished making up the immortal pills from the Heavenly Scripture yet.

Plain old cinnabar, this mercury ore—it’s not enough anymore. I need to add other things to the formula. The more sinister, the better.

He hadn’t forgotten Danyangzi’s strength. He had to make sure the man was well and truly dead.