The Bun

Li Huowang curled himself into a tight ball, like an unborn fetus, withdrawn and motionless in a corner of the ingredient storeroom. The other human ingredients did not dare to disturb him, nor did they want to; they quietly went about their own tasks. Night fell without his notice. The oil lamps on the walls guttered out one by one, and darkness blanketed Li Huowang like a quilt. He lay there like a corpse, unresponsive to any change in the world around him. When the third watch came, a faint candlelight appeared at the doorway. It illuminated the shelves nearby and drove back the darkness clinging to Li Huowang. Timid Bai Lingmiao approached him, clutching a bundle of dried grass. Carefully, she spread it over his body. Then she pulled a coarse grain bun from her bosom and placed it by his lips. Seeing that he still did not move, she bit her lip and gently nudged him. 'Senior Brother, please eat something. You haven't eaten all day.' Li Huowang's eyes were open. For hours they had not blinked, staring numbly at the cold floor, not shifting toward Bai Lingmiao even a fraction. She wanted to leave, but after a moment's hesitation, she reached into her bosom again and took out a jade pendant. She set it beside his hand. 'Senior Brother, this is yours. Take it back.' This time Li Huowang finally reacted. He looked at the object: it was the round jade pendant he had stolen from the previous Xuan Yang. He remembered giving it to Yang Na to sell for money. The thought of Yang Na made his already shattered heart bleed anew. 'How did it end up with you?' 'You gave it to me, Senior Brother. I said I didn't want it, but you insisted.' Li Huowang slowly sat up. By the dim candlelight, he examined the round jade pendant with its cloud patterns. At that moment, he had never felt anything so real. But in that reality there was only genuine despair and genuine pain. If he had a choice, how he wished he could sink back into that beautiful illusion. Seeing that Li Huowang had responded, Bai Lingmiao spoke softly. 'Senior Brother Li, where did the master bring you from? I'm from Liang Kingdom. Where are you from?' Li Huowang was silent for a while, then shook his head dejectedly. 'I don't know.' He truly did not know. He had memories of the past, but after the day's events, he could no longer tell which of those memories were real and which were illusion. Even here, he was still a madman—a madman who couldn't tell reality from fantasy. As he shook his head, Li Huowang suddenly felt something strange on his scalp. He touched it and found his hair matted with dried blood. He had been injured earlier. Seeing him touch his head, Bai Lingmiao explained, 'That was Senior Brother Wang.' Li Huowang knew that 'Senior Brother Wang' was the fat, harelipped man who had earlier tried to assault Bai Lingmiao. 'Where is Wang?' 'You... you kicked him to death.' Hearing this, Li Huowang's mind flashed back to Old Liu, the man he had kicked to death in his hallucination. He lowered his head and let out a silent, bitter laugh. Truly, he was mad enough. Li Huowang reached into his own bosom and pulled out a gold anklet wrapped in red thread. He held it out to Bai Lingmiao. 'This is yours. Take it back.' Bai Lingmiao looked at her anklet, then pushed it back with both hands. 'Senior Brother Li, you were right before. It's useless here. You keep it.' Li Huowang stared blankly at the gold anklet. But now it was useless to him too. Everything he cared about was gone. 'Um, Senior Brother Li, could I use this as payment and ask you for a favor?' Bai Lingmiao's words made him turn his gaze to her. 'If you manage to get out of here alive, could you take a message to my parents? They live at the foot of Oxheart Mountain in Liang Kingdom. Tell them their daughter is unfilial and cannot see them into their old age.' Her voice choked with sorrow. 'Senior Brother Li, I really don't want to trouble you, but I have no other choice. Soon they'll take me to the alchemy hall, and I...' Li Huowang, who had been all numbness and defeat, felt something tighten in his chest. His eyes, which had been dead, regained a glimmer of light. He looked at the dried grass covering him, then at the bun by his side. He pulled his hand back and tucked the red-threaded gold anklet into his own bosom. 'I'll keep my word. Since I took something from you, I'll help you.' Bai Lingmiao's sorrowful eyes brightened at once, but quickly dimmed again. 'Senior Brother Li, this won't work. It will get you into trouble too.' 'Hah... Do you think I'm still afraid of that?' At this moment, Li Huowang had seen through it all. He had nothing left to lose. If everything he cared about was gone, what was there to fear? 'Good! Senior Brother Li is formidable!' A man's voice suddenly sounded from outside the storeroom door, startling both occupants. As the candlelight illuminated the speaker, they saw a sharp-faced, grinning man with patches of yellow and white skin like vitiligo. He pulled out two coarse grain buns from somewhere and placed them ingratiatingly beside Li Huowang. 'Hehehe, Senior Brother Li, have some buns. When dinner came, I thought you hadn't eaten, so I saved these for you. You probably don't know me, little brother. I was born by heaven and earth, no big name. Just call me Gouwa. Hehehe, just yesterday I offered you seventeen coppers.' Gouwa rubbed his hands nervously, practically dripping with flattery. Clearly he wanted to attach himself to Li Huowang as a protector, to avoid becoming a human ingredient. Smart people could be found anywhere. Li Huowang said nothing. He grabbed the three somewhat hard buns and wolfed them down, having not eaten all day. Eating too fast, he choked. Gouwa immediately and understandingly ran out to fetch him a cup of water. After washing down the three coarse grain buns with the cold underground water, Li Huowang staggered to his feet, his legs numb from lying so long. Bai Lingmiao reached out to help him, but he pushed her away. His gaze fixed on the dark exit of the storeroom, he swayed as he walked out. His enemy now was no longer his own sudden illness, but the scabby-headed Daoist Danyangzi, who used humans for alchemy. When Danyangzi's ugly, disgusting face appeared in his mind, Li Huowang's eyes gradually filled with dark hostility. His teeth ground audibly. Just moments ago he had been utterly without hope, and now he was filled with drive. The only thing left to do was to find a way to kill that man.